This Sunday i went to this movie in telugu, "Happy Days". It was kinda gud movie but i didn't get nostalgic like i generally do. The story is about Engineering college life in hyderabad and at some point of time most of the engineering students would have experienced most of the film's incidents.
Generally when i watch movies of this sort and stuff which might conincide with my life, i get lil nostalgic and think about the times which i experienced, but this movie even though i liked it, never got me into the trance. I then realised that my engineering days were not too good a Happy Days to be called. I do agree that i had good friends and i enjoyed my time with them, but then i had very bad experiences in the end. Generally all the so-called bad things happen in the beginning and in the end everything patches up and turns to a happy ending which never happened in our case. We had differences in between which never patched up and rather made us apart day after day and finally resulting in letting the group divide.
Even in the first few days, each of us had different opinions which rarely agreed with each other, but then depending on the situation we used to get to a mutual agreement and compromise. I must say that there were times which made us feel that we're great friends, but then, there were more number of times when we actually had many differences. The problem with most of us was, we were never frank to each other. I could say that even though i was frank many a time it doesn't help, but still i was. Frankness though hurts many a time, never lets you down because at the end of the day you could be happy that there's nothing ill between you and your friend. That probably never happened. There were groups among groups and these were divided further and finally the difference in opinion is upto such a level that each of us were a seperate sub-divided group. I still remember, there was this 'W' who was in my group and who used to be with 'X','Y' and 'Z'. Now even though this guy had differences with them, he seems to be very comfortable but when he comes to me, keeps complaining about them. And almost all of us in the group had the same problem. This led to differences and more differences. No one in the group bothered to mind differences between any other two in the group and slowly the group split and finally crumbled into pieces. Finally now, even though we call each other, chat to each other, we still know that we had the differences and we're never the same. We talk good to each other as if things never went wrong between us, but each of us know the truth.
I know this confession would bring nothing good cuz even though people who're related to this read it, they would never mind talking about it and may be it's now hard to get back or may be there's no need to get back. Each of us are in different places and dont need each other, we've got new friends, but still, i miss them all. Yes All!!!!
If there's one thing i could turn back time and do something, i would surely make my engineering days memorable. Cuz those are the best days of our life. I never wanted things to go wrong at this pace and this bad. I knew there would always be differences, but never imagined they would turn up this way. I dont know how bad the others are feeling or atleast thinking about those days, but yeah, i am thinking about them, cuz watever has happened, we've spent those good times together. Those nights at the roof top Koyla, chatting at the Eat Street, banging my ass on my birthday and putting those condoms all over me(bastards they did it), movies, campus placements, and many other moments. Even after these differences, I thank you all for those wonderful times we had. I might be wrong in ur point of view, but you never expressed it and i never knew it. I am sorry if I hurt you!
Damn i thought this movie never made me nostalgic, to hell, finally this movie got me too. Aaaarrrrggg!!!!!!
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
Thursday, 18 October 2007
My Dreams, My Work...... And Now - I Suck!!!
Zindagi is tarah badlegi, socha na tha,
Bas khushiyon ke yaad reh gaye hai ab.
Kya suhaane din the woh, Jo guzar gaye,
Ab kabhi na lautenge us jannat mein.
Ab toh bas yehi hai zindagi hamaari,
Woh din toh shayari mein badal gaye.
Kuch bhi nahi raha ab zindagi mein,
Jo kar sake hum apni marzi se.
Errrrr........... Hope tht was not real bad. Its been ages since i stopped writing poetry kinda stuff. It was during my school days that i used to write poetry. Then, stopped cuz of some reasons. Dunno felt like letting one out after so many years. I know it was not as good as i wanted it to be, but its ok cuz its been a long time. And moreover, the place i am in, has moved most of my talent out of my head. No regrets.
Its been a month that i am in this place (dream destination for most Indians) and i dont feel the life. I am nothing but a puppet. I am just an other tool or so called resource who is doing something which, may be, i didn't fantasize anything of this sort during my college days. I thought i would be working on something very much exciting and i would be creating some wonders, fascinations you see. But now i am in this so called dream place, trying to do something which, may be, i never thought i would do. All my dreams and fantasies have just washed out.
When I was in my training, I thought that we were being stressed up to this extent cuz there might be a lot of it to handle in the future. Yes this is a real stress, cuz you should be stable enough to handle the stress of your dreams being run into scum. You must be strong enough to face the truth. That's what you are and that's what happens when you are into a firm which is powered by intellect and driven by values. I still remember each and every moment of the day i got placed in this great institution. OMG!! I was so happy, no bounds for my excitement. I felt i've conqered the world. Even though i was aware that there are thousands in the firm, the feeling of achieving this could be compared to nothin. I am still wondering how innocent or may be stupid i was. What good am i?
Bas khushiyon ke yaad reh gaye hai ab.
Kya suhaane din the woh, Jo guzar gaye,
Ab kabhi na lautenge us jannat mein.
Ab toh bas yehi hai zindagi hamaari,
Woh din toh shayari mein badal gaye.
Kuch bhi nahi raha ab zindagi mein,
Jo kar sake hum apni marzi se.
Errrrr........... Hope tht was not real bad. Its been ages since i stopped writing poetry kinda stuff. It was during my school days that i used to write poetry. Then, stopped cuz of some reasons. Dunno felt like letting one out after so many years. I know it was not as good as i wanted it to be, but its ok cuz its been a long time. And moreover, the place i am in, has moved most of my talent out of my head. No regrets.
Its been a month that i am in this place (dream destination for most Indians) and i dont feel the life. I am nothing but a puppet. I am just an other tool or so called resource who is doing something which, may be, i didn't fantasize anything of this sort during my college days. I thought i would be working on something very much exciting and i would be creating some wonders, fascinations you see. But now i am in this so called dream place, trying to do something which, may be, i never thought i would do. All my dreams and fantasies have just washed out.
When I was in my training, I thought that we were being stressed up to this extent cuz there might be a lot of it to handle in the future. Yes this is a real stress, cuz you should be stable enough to handle the stress of your dreams being run into scum. You must be strong enough to face the truth. That's what you are and that's what happens when you are into a firm which is powered by intellect and driven by values. I still remember each and every moment of the day i got placed in this great institution. OMG!! I was so happy, no bounds for my excitement. I felt i've conqered the world. Even though i was aware that there are thousands in the firm, the feeling of achieving this could be compared to nothin. I am still wondering how innocent or may be stupid i was. What good am i?
Wednesday, 30 May 2007
Powered by Intellect, Driven by Values
September 1st 2006. A day I could never forget in my life. Even after these 9 months, I still remember almost every small go of that day. It is the day, which made me feel the caliber in me. It may not be a great achievement for many people and if really considered, may be it isn’t any. But even then, I feel it an accomplishment because I know the pain behind failure. It is only the savor of defeat that makes you realize the ecstasy in your achievement. If a man is successful, then he is not recognized for long. But a failure is always reminded of his debacle all the time. That is how the society is. But once he succeeds, all those ill things spoken about him disappear at once. He becomes a hero. And slowly as the time passes, even he, is ignored. I always felt that failure makes a remarkable presence than success. That is the reason why I am proud of myself. Yes I am. Not because I achieved something, but it is because I understand the throe in failure. If success had come my way without any failure, may be I would have never realized that twinge.
Now you might be wondering, what is all this bullshit about… Hmm.. Actually it is the day I got placed in Infosys. When I was asked to write about my dream company in my campus placement form, with out any hesitation I wrote “Infosys Technologies Limited”. And then the campus placements started. The first one was Cognizant Tech Ltd, and I failed to pass thru the interview and same was the case with Wipro and Satyam. Almost all my close friends got placed in those companies and I was left alone. This inferior feeling actually used to kill me but somehow I used to manage to keep my regular happy face all the time. And I thought, Infosys was the only option left for me. And the final day of battle came. There was a pre-placement talk as usual and it was kinda interesting for the first few minutes and later it got boring and I was trying to kill time by clicking pics of people who were already sleeping. And later there was a test, and suddenly we realized that the paper was not how the general pattern used to be, consisting of puzzles, but it was full of objective questions relating to quantitative analysis n other stuff. But thanks to my CAT coaching classes, I was able to attempt the paper. Even though I solved few of those questions, I had no idea of getting thru. And once the results were out, to my surprise, my name was the sixth one called in the list. My eyes were almost wet and I went to attend the interview, it was a stress interview which I realized later. The interviewer was an old man of about sixty years and seemed least interested in me. I began to realize that Infy was not my cup of Tea. Once the interview was over I was damn sure to fail and I even suggested my friend that we would leave. But then, she insisted that we stay till the result was out. And I was waiting there with a dumb and expressionless loser face cursing my F’ed fate. And finally, it was time, they began announcing the names and I without any excitement was standing at the back. And then someone called out, DIVYA DEEP L., and I realized that the “Someone” was none other than the HR of INFY. I couldn’t bliv my eyes, and I swear I really couldn’t. I went to the announcer and checked my name in the list twice and was later convinced. There were no bounds for my happiness. All the pain vanished in a whiff. There are many other moments that I can be reminded of, but don wanna make this even more boring.
Now the reason why I’ve been blabbering all that was cuz I am now going to enter a new life and don wanna forget those moments. My first achievement.
Adios Engineering. Yo Infy!!!! Here I come…
Now you might be wondering, what is all this bullshit about… Hmm.. Actually it is the day I got placed in Infosys. When I was asked to write about my dream company in my campus placement form, with out any hesitation I wrote “Infosys Technologies Limited”. And then the campus placements started. The first one was Cognizant Tech Ltd, and I failed to pass thru the interview and same was the case with Wipro and Satyam. Almost all my close friends got placed in those companies and I was left alone. This inferior feeling actually used to kill me but somehow I used to manage to keep my regular happy face all the time. And I thought, Infosys was the only option left for me. And the final day of battle came. There was a pre-placement talk as usual and it was kinda interesting for the first few minutes and later it got boring and I was trying to kill time by clicking pics of people who were already sleeping. And later there was a test, and suddenly we realized that the paper was not how the general pattern used to be, consisting of puzzles, but it was full of objective questions relating to quantitative analysis n other stuff. But thanks to my CAT coaching classes, I was able to attempt the paper. Even though I solved few of those questions, I had no idea of getting thru. And once the results were out, to my surprise, my name was the sixth one called in the list. My eyes were almost wet and I went to attend the interview, it was a stress interview which I realized later. The interviewer was an old man of about sixty years and seemed least interested in me. I began to realize that Infy was not my cup of Tea. Once the interview was over I was damn sure to fail and I even suggested my friend that we would leave. But then, she insisted that we stay till the result was out. And I was waiting there with a dumb and expressionless loser face cursing my F’ed fate. And finally, it was time, they began announcing the names and I without any excitement was standing at the back. And then someone called out, DIVYA DEEP L., and I realized that the “Someone” was none other than the HR of INFY. I couldn’t bliv my eyes, and I swear I really couldn’t. I went to the announcer and checked my name in the list twice and was later convinced. There were no bounds for my happiness. All the pain vanished in a whiff. There are many other moments that I can be reminded of, but don wanna make this even more boring.
Now the reason why I’ve been blabbering all that was cuz I am now going to enter a new life and don wanna forget those moments. My first achievement.
Adios Engineering. Yo Infy!!!! Here I come…
Tuesday, 1 May 2007
The way i lived my Life
Hi Everyone.. This is my first blog and took a long time to write this. Since i came to know about this blogging stuff about two years back, i've always wanted to blog. But the problem was, i've been so very lazy that never actually took pain to do so. Now that is me. Hmm.. Now i'm actually writing this blog cuz i wanted to make an attempt to figure myself out and what i did for the past 22years.
In my childhood, i was an active kid and used to love playing and hanging out with friends, most of them who were very much elder to me. As i was a child, my conversations n blabbering used to interest them a lot. May be they enjoyed my foolishness or may be they found my words cute or the innocence of the speech attracted them, which i never cared,. But i always used to keep my pace of hopeless as well as endless conversations going on and on, and i loved it cuz ppl loved me for that. Never loved to stay home. And yeah, Peace was once thing i hated then. Err... sounds absurd though.. But dunno why, i used to love wars and battles. May be it was cuz of the reason that my dad was in the Forces then or may be cuz i used to watch the Television Series of Tipu Sultan and The Mahabharat. Wateva.. I loved the series of Tipu Sultan a lot, wen i was of 5 years or so.. All the time, I used to utter the sounds of the swords colliding with each other, "Ting Ting Buck.. ". Even now when my mom reminds me of those three words i used a lot and keeps teasing me.
Once we shifted from Kakinada to Hyderabad, i think it was 1993, my style of life changed to a different one. I realised that i had friends of my age too. Though it was kinda tough to adopt to such changes i was actually trying to. But then, somehow, (err.. i don remember how, ) i found friends who were elder to me. Felt lucky. One of those was Mario, he was a guitarist and used to run a dance school too. It was for the first time in my life that i heard of the name Micheal Jackson and his albums Bad and Dangerous. Learnt a few steps from him, which i barely remember now. It was really fun spending time with those big men as, it used to give me a feeling of security and supremacy over the children of my age. We jus lived for an year at that place.
Later we shifted to a place called Neredmet(we previously used to stay at Vanasthalipuram, forgot to mention that earlier)and here i met a wonderful family. As the tradition of me having elder friends continues, i met these people, Chaitanya and Navajivan. They were in their +2(intermediate) and i was in 4th class. Our family got close to them and we were neighbours. Their parents were both kind of scholars and even the children followed their footsteps. Though books were never of my genre, i loved knowledge and they helped me in gaining it sufficiently. They made me realise what i was and what i am. Most unforgettable people in my life. They always saw me as an intelligent chap and i loved it, who wouldn't love to be called smart(forget abt the truth.. lol..).
And then as time passed by, we kept shifting places n i kept changing my friends. And after a few relocations, we finally settled at a place called A.S.Rao Nagar and here we lived for six years and i love the moments i spent here. This is the place where i spent my matured childhood and has the most memorable moments of my life. It makes me feel i've lived life, and actually learnt the meaning of living life. I was never a sober and hated being called so, I was always naughty and a frolic. I had a gud bunch of friends here and all were of my age. But surprisingly got habituated with these people and was happy being with them and loved their company. In them was, Atish, my best friend, even now.
As my school days began to end and i had to chose my career path, i was in a dillema. I never understood wat i wanted to be. Movies influenced me a lot(tht's one of the reasons why i keep away from movies) and then i wanted to be an archeologist. But my brother somehow brushed my dreams away and wanted me to take Math. I loved math and so i didn't have much regrets in choosin it. And then i joined my engineering. Four years went by, even now many a time, i cant bliv my eyes that i am about to complete my engineering. Damn i wud be an engineer, i never realised. I got placed with Infosys and wud be working for it in a month or two. But i still feel childish many a time.
After all these years.. I've realised that i've become peace loving, lazy, kinda matured(not always though). I've changed a lot.. Had happy as well as sad moments. But always realised that i was growin and i always feel that i am being matured day by day and was foolish in the past..LOL.. Now i'm jus waiting for a day where i wud feel "Yeah!! For the past one year i wasn't childish or immatured at any point of time".
In my childhood, i was an active kid and used to love playing and hanging out with friends, most of them who were very much elder to me. As i was a child, my conversations n blabbering used to interest them a lot. May be they enjoyed my foolishness or may be they found my words cute or the innocence of the speech attracted them, which i never cared,. But i always used to keep my pace of hopeless as well as endless conversations going on and on, and i loved it cuz ppl loved me for that. Never loved to stay home. And yeah, Peace was once thing i hated then. Err... sounds absurd though.. But dunno why, i used to love wars and battles. May be it was cuz of the reason that my dad was in the Forces then or may be cuz i used to watch the Television Series of Tipu Sultan and The Mahabharat. Wateva.. I loved the series of Tipu Sultan a lot, wen i was of 5 years or so.. All the time, I used to utter the sounds of the swords colliding with each other, "Ting Ting Buck.. ". Even now when my mom reminds me of those three words i used a lot and keeps teasing me.
Once we shifted from Kakinada to Hyderabad, i think it was 1993, my style of life changed to a different one. I realised that i had friends of my age too. Though it was kinda tough to adopt to such changes i was actually trying to. But then, somehow, (err.. i don remember how, ) i found friends who were elder to me. Felt lucky. One of those was Mario, he was a guitarist and used to run a dance school too. It was for the first time in my life that i heard of the name Micheal Jackson and his albums Bad and Dangerous. Learnt a few steps from him, which i barely remember now. It was really fun spending time with those big men as, it used to give me a feeling of security and supremacy over the children of my age. We jus lived for an year at that place.
Later we shifted to a place called Neredmet(we previously used to stay at Vanasthalipuram, forgot to mention that earlier)and here i met a wonderful family. As the tradition of me having elder friends continues, i met these people, Chaitanya and Navajivan. They were in their +2(intermediate) and i was in 4th class. Our family got close to them and we were neighbours. Their parents were both kind of scholars and even the children followed their footsteps. Though books were never of my genre, i loved knowledge and they helped me in gaining it sufficiently. They made me realise what i was and what i am. Most unforgettable people in my life. They always saw me as an intelligent chap and i loved it, who wouldn't love to be called smart(forget abt the truth.. lol..).
And then as time passed by, we kept shifting places n i kept changing my friends. And after a few relocations, we finally settled at a place called A.S.Rao Nagar and here we lived for six years and i love the moments i spent here. This is the place where i spent my matured childhood and has the most memorable moments of my life. It makes me feel i've lived life, and actually learnt the meaning of living life. I was never a sober and hated being called so, I was always naughty and a frolic. I had a gud bunch of friends here and all were of my age. But surprisingly got habituated with these people and was happy being with them and loved their company. In them was, Atish, my best friend, even now.
As my school days began to end and i had to chose my career path, i was in a dillema. I never understood wat i wanted to be. Movies influenced me a lot(tht's one of the reasons why i keep away from movies) and then i wanted to be an archeologist. But my brother somehow brushed my dreams away and wanted me to take Math. I loved math and so i didn't have much regrets in choosin it. And then i joined my engineering. Four years went by, even now many a time, i cant bliv my eyes that i am about to complete my engineering. Damn i wud be an engineer, i never realised. I got placed with Infosys and wud be working for it in a month or two. But i still feel childish many a time.
After all these years.. I've realised that i've become peace loving, lazy, kinda matured(not always though). I've changed a lot.. Had happy as well as sad moments. But always realised that i was growin and i always feel that i am being matured day by day and was foolish in the past..LOL.. Now i'm jus waiting for a day where i wud feel "Yeah!! For the past one year i wasn't childish or immatured at any point of time".
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