Indian Weddings

Weddings. The very thought of this word gives me a sick feeling. No!! It’s not that I hate weddings. But the hype that people give and the fuss that they make really irritates me. I think I hardly attended four or five weddings since my childhood. Don’t know why I never liked them as they never gave me a good notion. When I was a kid, I used to love goin to these weddings. May be its cuz I get to meet many people and the sight of people always intrigued me. But then, later I slowly learnt that it was no fun, meeting those old jerks who used to squeeze my cheeks for their vicious pleasure. Many a time I used to feel like hitting them on their testicles to pop their fu*kin balls out. Damn, wat do they think, am I a Merry-Andrew. Now if that is the case with me, imagine what the bride n the groom would be facing?

The saga of the Indian wedding goes on. Now, there’s guy called Groom sitting on the stagecoach arriving towards the Bride’s house as the soldier returning from the war. The guy seems to be more tired than excited by the time he arrives. Hmmm.. I think I shud describe it as a mixed feeling of tiredness as well as excitement. The people beside him, behave as if he’s a Private returning from the war with medal of honor. I’ve always wondered if the guy ever realized what’s all the ruckus goin on. Hmmm… He wud jus be thinking of the so called wonderful moment(s) that he’s going to have after the show.

Now once the couple is brought to the congregation hall, the irony of the whole episode begins. The pundit recites the endless chants of the mantras which are neither understood by the couple nor by the audience. Now by the time half of the ritual is over, most of the people either sleep or do their own work. The ladies keep commenting about the sarees and their colors and the men keep gossiping about politics or some worthless shit. The couple are the scapegoats here and all the people enjoy the sadistic pleasure of dumping two other lives, for which they give it a sacred name called Wedding.

After all this bullshit drama, people fiendishly wish the couple “A Happy Married Life” thinking that there goes another rabbit into the den. This is what they call, A Wedding.