Nightmare

It’s an early Saturday morning and the sun isn’t properly visible yet. I was suddenly awakened by a force that has come from somewhere inside me. I could hardly realize what it was as I was immersed in an extra-ordinary dream. The usually unusual dream of me loosing my gravity and floating in the air. It is usual because I keep getting these kind of dreams very often and unusual because I really find it weird. I was slowly opening my eyes but couldn’t as that force which woke me up was actually transforming into some kind of an illogical pain. I finally grabbed some courage and opened my eyes and found a woman sleeping beside me.

Now before you draw conclusions, let me tell you, that I was traveling on an official assignment with a group of girls who were unfortunately my colleagues and I was the only guy accompanying them from my office in the trip and we were actually traveling in a bus. Now when I say there are a group of girls and there is also the word unfortunate, you could easily conclude few things, and yeah to make it easy for you, let me tell you that I met them for the first time. Anyway, back to the situation, as I didn’t feel like looking at her, I turned to the other side and was looking at the window. I was trying to analyze of how I should react as the pain was growing slowly as each minute was passing by. I knew it would have to come and was helpless. It feels like you’re hit by a 9mm pistol and the bullet once gets into your body is slowly passing though every minute. Occasionally there are also tough ones which make the pain more complicated.

Now few of you who might have experienced or guessed it, I don’t have to explain anything and for those who are still confused and thinking of what all this could be, I’m talking of my situation in a bus where I have a girl and especially my colleague beside me and the force is ‘my Pee’. I was very shy and didn’t actually want to go and ask the driver to stop for my Pee. One of the main reasons is that these bus drivers, who I think rarely drink any water as they never Pee, reject or ignore our request to stop the bus for Peeing. Probably that is something very immaterial for the guy or probably he wears those huggies kind of Nappies, I didn’t actually think of the reasons though, but these guys are very bad as they don’t really understand the priority or the urgency of reaction that the situation needs. I didn’t want to be embarrassed by the driver and so I didn’t go to him and was trying to control and the situation was getting worse.

I suddenly realized that since I woke up the bus just moved a mere 50kms and it’s been more than an hour that it got worse. I finally gained some courage and have moved that sleeping log beside me and went to the driver only to be ignored and he waved me away saying he’d stop after sometime. And that ‘after sometime’ was very long and it was actually longer because of the situation. Finally he stopped after another 50kms drive while I was thinking of writing this blog and many other funny things just to make the situation feel a bit worse from worst. As soon as he stopped, the bastard began to look behind for me and was waving at me, making me even more embarrassed but for the situation which I didn’t really care. Once I was out, the relief of the release I felt is truly wonderful and was thanking for the Happy Ending!

Orkut Display Names and Pics

Disclaimer: This Post may be offending for most of the readers as it may contain some facts related to them. And any resemblance to any person or to his/her is mere coincidence. Its jus to describe and make the readers understand about the matter has the author used few infracting Sh*t or wateva. Now the disclaimer nonsense is over n u could read the post.. Here it goes..

When I surf the communities in Orkut, I come across many profiles with strange Display names and even more strange names for the pics in their albums. I mean it’s so strange people write about themselves, vaunting their so called ingenuity. I noticed a guy writing “Born to Rule”, now the guy’s actually a +2 student and seems that he even failed in a subject or two. Now I never understood what in the world made him feel he would be ruling. And an other guy writes “If looks could kill, then get ready to die”. I was curious of how handsome the guy wud be. Damn!! Jesus Christ!!! Watever he wrote was true. His looks were so KILLING, that I almost got killed. F*^k Shit. I never thought he meant it in true sense. Dunno how many other people he killed, with his KILLING LOOKS.

There’s an other guy who writes “MADDY ALWAYS STAY WITH COOL”. Now the mordancy here is.. Firstly, I was never able to understand his English. Ok let’s not ridicule over his language cuz everyone cant speak or write good English and cud make mistakes. I later tried to scrutinize wat he wanted to convey. But in the process, i was tryin to interpret what he meant to say by “always stay with cool”, is it that it's summer and he wud want to stay cool resting or being Cool, with the “Yoh Man!!” effect. And his name or pet name, wateva, its Maddy. Never understood if it meant that he’s mad or a foolish ass. And there are people who put, names such as PRINCE, PRINCESS, AMAZON, bullshit and so on… Now I’ve always been wondering which state is still allowing them to rule and these Amazon women, few of then are so lean, damn you can blow them off with no second go. Hope these people realize the crap they’ve been writing and the fun that they’re makin outta themselves.

Now, about the Pics and their captions. Once I came across a profile, The display image was stating “IF BEING SEXY IS A CRIME, ARREST ME”!!! WTF!!! For a moment I was wondering if the person is Brad Pitt or Mel Gibson in disguise. I was kinda inquisitive and went thru his album expecting a hansome hunk. Now wat I find is a guy, looking as lean as a Marasmus kid, he’s got long hair and was lookin a vamp with his googs. Damn! if he considered himself sexy wat wud Hritik and Brosnan think of themselves. They wud bang their head against the wall and blow themselves with a gun. “Brosnan! Please, Please don’t sign in to orkut. Hope u wudn’t want repent.”. There are many quoted pics saying “This person’s pic is too sext to be displayed”, “Girls! Please don’t look at my album”, “Album Updated”. I dunno wat ppl want to convey with their weird display names.

After noticing many profiles like these, I too feel like putting a caption, “God! Please Why did u give me Commonsense!”(Now that was a joke though). But I think I must actually appreciate these people for their astounding attitude. Hats Off People!!

Indian Weddings

Weddings. The very thought of this word gives me a sick feeling. No!! It’s not that I hate weddings. But the hype that people give and the fuss that they make really irritates me. I think I hardly attended four or five weddings since my childhood. Don’t know why I never liked them as they never gave me a good notion. When I was a kid, I used to love goin to these weddings. May be its cuz I get to meet many people and the sight of people always intrigued me. But then, later I slowly learnt that it was no fun, meeting those old jerks who used to squeeze my cheeks for their vicious pleasure. Many a time I used to feel like hitting them on their testicles to pop their fu*kin balls out. Damn, wat do they think, am I a Merry-Andrew. Now if that is the case with me, imagine what the bride n the groom would be facing?

The saga of the Indian wedding goes on. Now, there’s guy called Groom sitting on the stagecoach arriving towards the Bride’s house as the soldier returning from the war. The guy seems to be more tired than excited by the time he arrives. Hmmm.. I think I shud describe it as a mixed feeling of tiredness as well as excitement. The people beside him, behave as if he’s a Private returning from the war with medal of honor. I’ve always wondered if the guy ever realized what’s all the ruckus goin on. Hmmm… He wud jus be thinking of the so called wonderful moment(s) that he’s going to have after the show.

Now once the couple is brought to the congregation hall, the irony of the whole episode begins. The pundit recites the endless chants of the mantras which are neither understood by the couple nor by the audience. Now by the time half of the ritual is over, most of the people either sleep or do their own work. The ladies keep commenting about the sarees and their colors and the men keep gossiping about politics or some worthless shit. The couple are the scapegoats here and all the people enjoy the sadistic pleasure of dumping two other lives, for which they give it a sacred name called Wedding.

After all this bullshit drama, people fiendishly wish the couple “A Happy Married Life” thinking that there goes another rabbit into the den. This is what they call, A Wedding.