One week before Transition

This post, i can say is the most nostalgic one and i am writing it after a long gap of experiencing it. Hope i dont loose any of my important experiences. Wish i had time to say them all as soon as i experienced. But you know.. Time.. Its somethin tht is available to you in plenitude wen u dont need to use it and is scarcely available when you want it the most. During my graduation days, all i had, in this world, was lots and lots of Time. But now, time is somethin i crave for. Anyways... Let me get to the original point.

30th June, 2007, it was the day i started from Hyderabad. I was going to get my ass trained for my new job. "Software Engineer, Infosys". Its a tag which i have, to be proud of, of all the years i've lived my life. Though I was not too excited abt my transition from a student to a working citizen of India, I was not too sad to leave my heaven(Hyderabad). May be i needed a change, that was somethin i needed badly. And finally i am havin it. The Change.

And now as i was leavin, my best friends came home, to bade me bye. We had lot of fun, the previous day, we had a lunch out at a chinese restaurant as i wanted to treat them. We sat at my favorite place, the highest point at my place, the water tank,that night, blabbing some shit about our best moments. I even had one of my closests friends of a time, visiting me that late night. Though officially we're best friends, we both know that there has been a gap, a pretty long gap between both of us, that neither of us deny to accept to each other or to others. But, we know the truth. The reasons. May be, each of us have our own explainations to defend ourselves, ultimately truth strikes like hell. May be, even this is a part of transition. Anyways. I dont want to elaborate much on this point.

The next day i was busy with my packing and all stuff cuz i was leaving for a pretty long time. Even since morning i was kind of, having some neutral feelings. I was neither feeling sad nor happy and the fact that i was very much conscious about that was actually bothering me a lot. Everyone of of us respond in some way wen we're having some kind of transition, but i dunno y i was like that. No feelings. Jus went on packing my stuff and spendin time wid my friends, as casually as i do usually. That's how it was, and that's how i was. My mom never found me emotional at any point of time, or may be i never let her realise my feelings, i never knew. I was jus wondering if i lost all my feelings and emotions. Why have i become like this?? This thought has been twinging me. But then slowly the day passed and we had to leave to the railway station for my journey. As we reached the station i felt a strange prick in my heart, a feeling which was tranquillizing me and was almost preventing me from going and i was not able to agnize it. And this pain was actually suffocating me even more as the time was passing by. Then finally i bade goodbye to my friends and then the train slowly moved. Then i realised that, the "prick", was nothin but a feeling, deep in my heart, which was gesturing from inside me, that i was missing my friends.

At once all the my thoughts plunged me and I was in a trance. I am not going to be with them anymore. All those fun we had together will all remain as memories and then there's no chance to experience it again except for talkin abt those times and feeling sad about them. I might find new friends, but definitely i am surely goin to miss these bastards for sure. Oh my god!! Why are my eyes filled with tears. I dont wanna cry, and i am not, but its paining and i want to cry. But i didn't. Why am i missing them so much. They're not my relations, then why am i missin them so much, why??? I then realised that it was because i loved them, for it doesn't need to be in any kind of relation to be in love. I loved my friends and now i am leaving them. I never realised that they were so important to me and that they were really so close to me that i wud start missing them some day. But everytime you have things waiting to pounce on u at once. I immediately msged them wat i felt and as a fact they too were in same situations. We were such a bastards in the college, that probably everyone who knew us, in the college would never think that we too wud have feelins. We were considered psychos by almost everyone. Finally, we psychos too have feelings and we were experiencing them. With that trance i went to Bangalore and slowly got myself out of it.

Once i was in Bangalore, it was a full week of shopping for me and my ATM(My bro) was ready to sponsor it. I bought almost everything i've wanted. And my ATM never defied me. During this week, i've had many kinds of experiences and almost all my experiences carry different kind of thoughts with them. It was on one of those days, i saw these people. They were about four or five of them, all dressed in attires resembling the cartoon stars like Tweety, Bugs Bunny, Donald Duck and others. They stand infront of these big multi-branded stores to entertain people and mostly children. I never knew how these people looked in real, but they were covered totally in those clothes that they were really lukin cute and had a permanant smiling face. I wondered if they were really that happy, they wud never have had to do this job. Problems, Pain, Money.... All these alre so closely related and all these could make you do anything. But then, you can never run away from them. And you have this thing called pain, that exists everywhere in some or the other form and it hits like deep shit. Thinking about them i let go that night. There were many of these kind of experiences which made me feel i was actually growning and understanding pain even more. But, dear, the more you understand pain, it'll get closer to you and finally award you with its own degree and settle with you forever. So be careful.

And finally I had to go to get my ass ripped and so we started to Mysore. The world's best training centre, i would say, with world class facilities and which a normal person would never even be able to dream or think of owning it. And i was a bit proud that i was atleast living there for a good amount of time and i am a part of it.

My Mom and Bro were so happy that i was one among the organization abt which most of the Indian graduates crave to be part of and my brother was more proud of me than happy that i was someone and not something. I dunno if it was really worth to be that happy, but it was a great comfort to me that my ppl are happy cuz of me which they scarcely are. Then I finally joined the campus carrying all the pain of missing my people i.e. my friends, mom, bro and i really dont want to express in words how much i missed them all.