I hope most of the people have guessed the content by the name itself. I've always been a critic and love being so. Now for people who do not know what is Corporate Positive Attitude, please pay attention so that you might be doing well in your job by developing this attitude. First of all, lemme explain you what is corporate positive attitude.
Basically according to the recruiters and managers, all the employees should have a really positive attitude and must be willing to take up any kind of "challenges". Now a fresh college passout would be so entusiastic looking for such requirements and is happy as he feels that he's got the will to face the challenges and the real positive attitude. But these guys are stupid enough not to realise the actual meaning for those sugar coated demands. They actually want you to do any kind of "challenging work"(if considered work) which most others have not preffered to do, but as you are new to the field you must and whould be doing it and accept all that with a smile and be very happy with the creativity. If only would these demands be more transperent, there wouldn't have been so many lives slogging in the IT firms and deep inside, feeling that even though they're seeming happy and fine with 5days of "work" and a 2 day weekend, they're not satisfied with their life and work. May be most of us think there's no other chance to improve our lives any better, i don't know about others, but i think the same.
According to the Corporate Norms I am a guy with loads and loads of negative attitude and not ready for any kind of challenges and a weak stupid guy and simply not fit for the so-called Corporate Life. But if i choose to quit this kind of life, they call me fool and a lunatic. If i continue, i feel the same about myself. There has always been a clash with the society and my thoughts. When i was younger than now, i used to feel that these unique thoughts of mine would help me bring a change in the society and do any better to the people, but like many, even i have realised that i've to go on with the flock and try not to be different. Many a time i am really happy that India is "Independent", if independence means what it is that we have now(Wish i really was). May be i would try it one day, out of frustration or enthusiasm. I'm not sure. Let's see.
Tuesday, 27 November 2007
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
Happy Days
This Sunday i went to this movie in telugu, "Happy Days". It was kinda gud movie but i didn't get nostalgic like i generally do. The story is about Engineering college life in hyderabad and at some point of time most of the engineering students would have experienced most of the film's incidents.
Generally when i watch movies of this sort and stuff which might conincide with my life, i get lil nostalgic and think about the times which i experienced, but this movie even though i liked it, never got me into the trance. I then realised that my engineering days were not too good a Happy Days to be called. I do agree that i had good friends and i enjoyed my time with them, but then i had very bad experiences in the end. Generally all the so-called bad things happen in the beginning and in the end everything patches up and turns to a happy ending which never happened in our case. We had differences in between which never patched up and rather made us apart day after day and finally resulting in letting the group divide.
Even in the first few days, each of us had different opinions which rarely agreed with each other, but then depending on the situation we used to get to a mutual agreement and compromise. I must say that there were times which made us feel that we're great friends, but then, there were more number of times when we actually had many differences. The problem with most of us was, we were never frank to each other. I could say that even though i was frank many a time it doesn't help, but still i was. Frankness though hurts many a time, never lets you down because at the end of the day you could be happy that there's nothing ill between you and your friend. That probably never happened. There were groups among groups and these were divided further and finally the difference in opinion is upto such a level that each of us were a seperate sub-divided group. I still remember, there was this 'W' who was in my group and who used to be with 'X','Y' and 'Z'. Now even though this guy had differences with them, he seems to be very comfortable but when he comes to me, keeps complaining about them. And almost all of us in the group had the same problem. This led to differences and more differences. No one in the group bothered to mind differences between any other two in the group and slowly the group split and finally crumbled into pieces. Finally now, even though we call each other, chat to each other, we still know that we had the differences and we're never the same. We talk good to each other as if things never went wrong between us, but each of us know the truth.
I know this confession would bring nothing good cuz even though people who're related to this read it, they would never mind talking about it and may be it's now hard to get back or may be there's no need to get back. Each of us are in different places and dont need each other, we've got new friends, but still, i miss them all. Yes All!!!!
If there's one thing i could turn back time and do something, i would surely make my engineering days memorable. Cuz those are the best days of our life. I never wanted things to go wrong at this pace and this bad. I knew there would always be differences, but never imagined they would turn up this way. I dont know how bad the others are feeling or atleast thinking about those days, but yeah, i am thinking about them, cuz watever has happened, we've spent those good times together. Those nights at the roof top Koyla, chatting at the Eat Street, banging my ass on my birthday and putting those condoms all over me(bastards they did it), movies, campus placements, and many other moments. Even after these differences, I thank you all for those wonderful times we had. I might be wrong in ur point of view, but you never expressed it and i never knew it. I am sorry if I hurt you!
Damn i thought this movie never made me nostalgic, to hell, finally this movie got me too. Aaaarrrrggg!!!!!!
Generally when i watch movies of this sort and stuff which might conincide with my life, i get lil nostalgic and think about the times which i experienced, but this movie even though i liked it, never got me into the trance. I then realised that my engineering days were not too good a Happy Days to be called. I do agree that i had good friends and i enjoyed my time with them, but then i had very bad experiences in the end. Generally all the so-called bad things happen in the beginning and in the end everything patches up and turns to a happy ending which never happened in our case. We had differences in between which never patched up and rather made us apart day after day and finally resulting in letting the group divide.
Even in the first few days, each of us had different opinions which rarely agreed with each other, but then depending on the situation we used to get to a mutual agreement and compromise. I must say that there were times which made us feel that we're great friends, but then, there were more number of times when we actually had many differences. The problem with most of us was, we were never frank to each other. I could say that even though i was frank many a time it doesn't help, but still i was. Frankness though hurts many a time, never lets you down because at the end of the day you could be happy that there's nothing ill between you and your friend. That probably never happened. There were groups among groups and these were divided further and finally the difference in opinion is upto such a level that each of us were a seperate sub-divided group. I still remember, there was this 'W' who was in my group and who used to be with 'X','Y' and 'Z'. Now even though this guy had differences with them, he seems to be very comfortable but when he comes to me, keeps complaining about them. And almost all of us in the group had the same problem. This led to differences and more differences. No one in the group bothered to mind differences between any other two in the group and slowly the group split and finally crumbled into pieces. Finally now, even though we call each other, chat to each other, we still know that we had the differences and we're never the same. We talk good to each other as if things never went wrong between us, but each of us know the truth.
I know this confession would bring nothing good cuz even though people who're related to this read it, they would never mind talking about it and may be it's now hard to get back or may be there's no need to get back. Each of us are in different places and dont need each other, we've got new friends, but still, i miss them all. Yes All!!!!
If there's one thing i could turn back time and do something, i would surely make my engineering days memorable. Cuz those are the best days of our life. I never wanted things to go wrong at this pace and this bad. I knew there would always be differences, but never imagined they would turn up this way. I dont know how bad the others are feeling or atleast thinking about those days, but yeah, i am thinking about them, cuz watever has happened, we've spent those good times together. Those nights at the roof top Koyla, chatting at the Eat Street, banging my ass on my birthday and putting those condoms all over me(bastards they did it), movies, campus placements, and many other moments. Even after these differences, I thank you all for those wonderful times we had. I might be wrong in ur point of view, but you never expressed it and i never knew it. I am sorry if I hurt you!
Damn i thought this movie never made me nostalgic, to hell, finally this movie got me too. Aaaarrrrggg!!!!!!
Monday, 22 October 2007
How much do you want?
Greed. It is something which keeps the world going. I dont know why i keep writing this kind of stuff, but i enjoy writing it. May be, i am letting out my feelings and pain in this way by writing on these topics. Or may be i am atleast trying to. I always feel that i am missing something in my life and if i would have fulfilled that one wish, i might be satisfied. Human instinct you see. Either i get that or i dont. If i dont, then i have some other wish that i want it to be fulfilled. And if by chance my wish is satisfied, then there's an other wish waiting in the queue to be fulfilled and the progression never ends.
Why is it so that we are in need of something which we dont have, why aren't we satisfied with what we have? Many a time i feel, its probably good to an extent to be greedy, may be because, what we have today is because of that need for something which we had sometime back. But the problem with us is that we're never satisfied after a certain extent and as i said the chain never ends.
I always wonder why people are never satisfied with what they have(includes me too). We always need something more than what we have and that need for that something never ends and always there's a new something. Life's like that, it makes you do the worst of the things that you never even thought you might, at some point of time in your life, ever do. But all of us are compelled to lead our lives that way. No one has a solution. We never know where it all started. At the end of the day, all we could do is to blame, blame the goddam society for making a dork out of us. And then curse ourselves for knocking ourselves into the hovel. We want to get back, we would feel like leading a pure life. But by then, we drag ourselves so deep into it, that we cant turn back or we're too old to get back. There you are struck with your cruelself, fighting with your conscience and there's no win or loose cuz u already lost.
I feel i am insane to think of all this,but cant keep myself out of it. Most of us aware of these problems and situations and we know that there's no solution and we should keep up the pace. That's life and there's no end to how much we want!!!!!
Why is it so that we are in need of something which we dont have, why aren't we satisfied with what we have? Many a time i feel, its probably good to an extent to be greedy, may be because, what we have today is because of that need for something which we had sometime back. But the problem with us is that we're never satisfied after a certain extent and as i said the chain never ends.
I always wonder why people are never satisfied with what they have(includes me too). We always need something more than what we have and that need for that something never ends and always there's a new something. Life's like that, it makes you do the worst of the things that you never even thought you might, at some point of time in your life, ever do. But all of us are compelled to lead our lives that way. No one has a solution. We never know where it all started. At the end of the day, all we could do is to blame, blame the goddam society for making a dork out of us. And then curse ourselves for knocking ourselves into the hovel. We want to get back, we would feel like leading a pure life. But by then, we drag ourselves so deep into it, that we cant turn back or we're too old to get back. There you are struck with your cruelself, fighting with your conscience and there's no win or loose cuz u already lost.
I feel i am insane to think of all this,but cant keep myself out of it. Most of us aware of these problems and situations and we know that there's no solution and we should keep up the pace. That's life and there's no end to how much we want!!!!!
Thursday, 18 October 2007
My Dreams, My Work...... And Now - I Suck!!!
Zindagi is tarah badlegi, socha na tha,
Bas khushiyon ke yaad reh gaye hai ab.
Kya suhaane din the woh, Jo guzar gaye,
Ab kabhi na lautenge us jannat mein.
Ab toh bas yehi hai zindagi hamaari,
Woh din toh shayari mein badal gaye.
Kuch bhi nahi raha ab zindagi mein,
Jo kar sake hum apni marzi se.
Errrrr........... Hope tht was not real bad. Its been ages since i stopped writing poetry kinda stuff. It was during my school days that i used to write poetry. Then, stopped cuz of some reasons. Dunno felt like letting one out after so many years. I know it was not as good as i wanted it to be, but its ok cuz its been a long time. And moreover, the place i am in, has moved most of my talent out of my head. No regrets.
Its been a month that i am in this place (dream destination for most Indians) and i dont feel the life. I am nothing but a puppet. I am just an other tool or so called resource who is doing something which, may be, i didn't fantasize anything of this sort during my college days. I thought i would be working on something very much exciting and i would be creating some wonders, fascinations you see. But now i am in this so called dream place, trying to do something which, may be, i never thought i would do. All my dreams and fantasies have just washed out.
When I was in my training, I thought that we were being stressed up to this extent cuz there might be a lot of it to handle in the future. Yes this is a real stress, cuz you should be stable enough to handle the stress of your dreams being run into scum. You must be strong enough to face the truth. That's what you are and that's what happens when you are into a firm which is powered by intellect and driven by values. I still remember each and every moment of the day i got placed in this great institution. OMG!! I was so happy, no bounds for my excitement. I felt i've conqered the world. Even though i was aware that there are thousands in the firm, the feeling of achieving this could be compared to nothin. I am still wondering how innocent or may be stupid i was. What good am i?
Bas khushiyon ke yaad reh gaye hai ab.
Kya suhaane din the woh, Jo guzar gaye,
Ab kabhi na lautenge us jannat mein.
Ab toh bas yehi hai zindagi hamaari,
Woh din toh shayari mein badal gaye.
Kuch bhi nahi raha ab zindagi mein,
Jo kar sake hum apni marzi se.
Errrrr........... Hope tht was not real bad. Its been ages since i stopped writing poetry kinda stuff. It was during my school days that i used to write poetry. Then, stopped cuz of some reasons. Dunno felt like letting one out after so many years. I know it was not as good as i wanted it to be, but its ok cuz its been a long time. And moreover, the place i am in, has moved most of my talent out of my head. No regrets.
Its been a month that i am in this place (dream destination for most Indians) and i dont feel the life. I am nothing but a puppet. I am just an other tool or so called resource who is doing something which, may be, i didn't fantasize anything of this sort during my college days. I thought i would be working on something very much exciting and i would be creating some wonders, fascinations you see. But now i am in this so called dream place, trying to do something which, may be, i never thought i would do. All my dreams and fantasies have just washed out.
When I was in my training, I thought that we were being stressed up to this extent cuz there might be a lot of it to handle in the future. Yes this is a real stress, cuz you should be stable enough to handle the stress of your dreams being run into scum. You must be strong enough to face the truth. That's what you are and that's what happens when you are into a firm which is powered by intellect and driven by values. I still remember each and every moment of the day i got placed in this great institution. OMG!! I was so happy, no bounds for my excitement. I felt i've conqered the world. Even though i was aware that there are thousands in the firm, the feeling of achieving this could be compared to nothin. I am still wondering how innocent or may be stupid i was. What good am i?
Friday, 5 October 2007
Human Trafficking
Yesterday night, i was switching channels as usual, and came across this Documentary by M TV. It was called EXIT, based on human trafficking. The whole documentary brings out the facts how most of us might be involved in the business of Human trafficking. Even though we know the facts very well, but when you actually listen them from the people who are actually suffering, its more than pathetic. The documentary brings out the pain that we never even dare to think of, but there are acually people alive and facing them. How they were decieved and were made victims, and how their future and their lives crumbled into pieces within no time at such a young age. I really couldn't watch it, but was determined to because it is for us to act upon such brutality. For the first time i thanked the commercial ads which came in the middle of the flick.
I really dont understand how and where the humanity has gone. I feel that the word humanity has lost its meaning.What right do we have to sell or buy our fellow human beings? Does greed for money and hunger kill the human in us. The human race has lost its identity. The reason for which we call ourselves intelligent has no value now. We're no more intelligent, we're degraded animals and something much worser than animals would describe the human race better, because animals are never such cruel. where in the world has all this brutality come from? It is within us. Its because of our cheap needs that our fellow beings are suffering. What right do we have to snatch their life for our selfishenss?
Each of us is responsible for all that is happening in this world. We have become more than selfish that we dont care of what is happening to others. All we are concerned about is ourselves and our families. How many times did we react to any situation which we felt it needs us. Each of us might have come across such situations. We must have come across ditched children across the streets or girls found in miserable state on the roads. How many times did we react to such situations? Did we ever care to give them a second look? We always notice the Sale or a Discount Offer signboard, but never a miserable kid, who might be a victim of human trafficking. We dont even have time to ask ourselves the question that how or in what way we are being useful to the society, to the country and to the world and to the humanity.
Most of us might have thoughts about all these, but we never come to take action when we face the situation. It is because, we feel we have much important things to do, than to bang our heads on such issues. But, just think, how our simple decision putting our thoughts to action might help the humanity and sustain the meaning of it. Its not very difficult do do, but its just that we need to put our thoughts to action. And it just needs a decision which can change the life of a child or someone. People reading this post might be in thinking of what i might have done as i am saying all this. I admit that i never did something much that i could talk about it over here. But yes, i've done all that i could when i come across such situations. I urge each one of you to take an initiative and feel responsible and act to such situations and help in forming a better India.
Jai Hind!!!
I really dont understand how and where the humanity has gone. I feel that the word humanity has lost its meaning.What right do we have to sell or buy our fellow human beings? Does greed for money and hunger kill the human in us. The human race has lost its identity. The reason for which we call ourselves intelligent has no value now. We're no more intelligent, we're degraded animals and something much worser than animals would describe the human race better, because animals are never such cruel. where in the world has all this brutality come from? It is within us. Its because of our cheap needs that our fellow beings are suffering. What right do we have to snatch their life for our selfishenss?
Each of us is responsible for all that is happening in this world. We have become more than selfish that we dont care of what is happening to others. All we are concerned about is ourselves and our families. How many times did we react to any situation which we felt it needs us. Each of us might have come across such situations. We must have come across ditched children across the streets or girls found in miserable state on the roads. How many times did we react to such situations? Did we ever care to give them a second look? We always notice the Sale or a Discount Offer signboard, but never a miserable kid, who might be a victim of human trafficking. We dont even have time to ask ourselves the question that how or in what way we are being useful to the society, to the country and to the world and to the humanity.
Most of us might have thoughts about all these, but we never come to take action when we face the situation. It is because, we feel we have much important things to do, than to bang our heads on such issues. But, just think, how our simple decision putting our thoughts to action might help the humanity and sustain the meaning of it. Its not very difficult do do, but its just that we need to put our thoughts to action. And it just needs a decision which can change the life of a child or someone. People reading this post might be in thinking of what i might have done as i am saying all this. I admit that i never did something much that i could talk about it over here. But yes, i've done all that i could when i come across such situations. I urge each one of you to take an initiative and feel responsible and act to such situations and help in forming a better India.
Jai Hind!!!
Wednesday, 18 July 2007
One week before Transition
This post, i can say is the most nostalgic one and i am writing it after a long gap of experiencing it. Hope i dont loose any of my important experiences. Wish i had time to say them all as soon as i experienced. But you know.. Time.. Its somethin tht is available to you in plenitude wen u dont need to use it and is scarcely available when you want it the most. During my graduation days, all i had, in this world, was lots and lots of Time. But now, time is somethin i crave for. Anyways... Let me get to the original point.
And now as i was leavin, my best friends came home, to bade me bye. We had lot of fun, the previous day, we had a lunch out at a chinese restaurant as i wanted to treat them. We sat at my favorite place, the highest point at my place, the water tank,that night, blabbing some shit about our best moments. I even had one of my closests friends of a time, visiting me that late night. Though officially we're best friends, we both know that there has been a gap, a pretty long gap between both of us, that neither of us deny to accept to each other or to others. But, we know the truth. The reasons. May be, each of us have our own explainations to defend ourselves, ultimately truth strikes like hell. May be, even this is a part of transition. Anyways. I dont want to elaborate much on this point.
The next day i was busy with my packing and all stuff cuz i was leaving for a pretty long time. Even since morning i was kind of, having some neutral feelings. I was neither feeling sad nor happy and the fact that i was very much conscious about that was actually bothering me a lot. Everyone of of us respond in some way wen we're having some kind of transition, but i dunno y i was like that. No feelings. Jus went on packing my stuff and spendin time wid my friends, as casually as i do usually. That's how it was, and that's how i was. My mom never found me emotional at any point of time, or may be i never let her realise my feelings, i never knew. I was jus wondering if i lost all my feelings and emotions. Why have i become like this?? This thought has been twinging me. But then slowly the day passed and we had to leave to the railway station for my journey. As we reached the station i felt a strange prick in my heart, a feeling which was tranquillizing me and was almost preventing me from going and i was not able to agnize it. And this pain was actually suffocating me even more as the time was passing by. Then finally i bade goodbye to my friends and then the train slowly moved. Then i realised that, the "prick", was nothin but a feeling, deep in my heart, which was gesturing from inside me, that i was missing my friends.
At once all the my thoughts plunged me and I was in a trance. I am not going to be with them anymore. All those fun we had together will all remain as memories and then there's no chance to experience it again except for talkin abt those times and feeling sad about them. I might find new friends, but definitely i am surely goin to miss these bastards for sure. Oh my god!! Why are my eyes filled with tears. I dont wanna cry, and i am not, but its paining and i want to cry. But i didn't. Why am i missing them so much. They're not my relations, then why am i missin them so much, why??? I then realised that it was because i loved them, for it doesn't need to be in any kind of relation to be in love. I loved my friends and now i am leaving them. I never realised that they were so important to me and that they were really so close to me that i wud start missing them some day. But everytime you have things waiting to pounce on u at once. I immediately msged them wat i felt and as a fact they too were in same situations. We were such a bastards in the college, that probably everyone who knew us, in the college would never think that we too wud have feelins. We were considered psychos by almost everyone. Finally, we psychos too have feelings and we were experiencing them. With that trance i went to Bangalore and slowly got myself out of it.
Once i was in Bangalore, it was a full week of shopping for me and my ATM(My bro) was ready to sponsor it. I bought almost everything i've wanted. And my ATM never defied me. During this week, i've had many kinds of experiences and almost all my experiences carry different kind of thoughts with them. It was on one of those days, i saw these people. They were about four or five of them, all dressed in attires resembling the cartoon stars like Tweety, Bugs Bunny, Donald Duck and others. They stand infront of these big multi-branded stores to entertain people and mostly children. I never knew how these people looked in real, but they were covered totally in those clothes that they were really lukin cute and had a permanant smiling face. I wondered if they were really that happy, they wud never have had to do this job. Problems, Pain, Money.... All these alre so closely related and all these could make you do anything. But then, you can never run away from them. And you have this thing called pain, that exists everywhere in some or the other form and it hits like deep shit. Thinking about them i let go that night. There were many of these kind of experiences which made me feel i was actually growning and understanding pain even more. But, dear, the more you understand pain, it'll get closer to you and finally award you with its own degree and settle with you forever. So be careful.
And finally I had to go to get my ass ripped and so we started to Mysore. The world's best training centre, i would say, with world class facilities and which a normal person would never even be able to dream or think of owning it. And i was a bit proud that i was atleast living there for a good amount of time and i am a part of it.
My Mom and Bro were so happy that i was one among the organization abt which most of the Indian graduates crave to be part of and my brother was more proud of me than happy that i was someone and not something. I dunno if it was really worth to be that happy, but it was a great comfort to me that my ppl are happy cuz of me which they scarcely are. Then I finally joined the campus carrying all the pain of missing my people i.e. my friends, mom, bro and i really dont want to express in words how much i missed them all.
30th June, 2007, it was the day i started from Hyderabad. I was going to get my ass trained for my new job. "Software Engineer, Infosys". Its a tag which i have, to be proud of, of all the years i've lived my life. Though I was not too excited abt my transition from a student to a working citizen of India, I was not too sad to leave my heaven(Hyderabad). May be i needed a change, that was somethin i needed badly. And finally i am havin it. The Change.
And now as i was leavin, my best friends came home, to bade me bye. We had lot of fun, the previous day, we had a lunch out at a chinese restaurant as i wanted to treat them. We sat at my favorite place, the highest point at my place, the water tank,that night, blabbing some shit about our best moments. I even had one of my closests friends of a time, visiting me that late night. Though officially we're best friends, we both know that there has been a gap, a pretty long gap between both of us, that neither of us deny to accept to each other or to others. But, we know the truth. The reasons. May be, each of us have our own explainations to defend ourselves, ultimately truth strikes like hell. May be, even this is a part of transition. Anyways. I dont want to elaborate much on this point.
The next day i was busy with my packing and all stuff cuz i was leaving for a pretty long time. Even since morning i was kind of, having some neutral feelings. I was neither feeling sad nor happy and the fact that i was very much conscious about that was actually bothering me a lot. Everyone of of us respond in some way wen we're having some kind of transition, but i dunno y i was like that. No feelings. Jus went on packing my stuff and spendin time wid my friends, as casually as i do usually. That's how it was, and that's how i was. My mom never found me emotional at any point of time, or may be i never let her realise my feelings, i never knew. I was jus wondering if i lost all my feelings and emotions. Why have i become like this?? This thought has been twinging me. But then slowly the day passed and we had to leave to the railway station for my journey. As we reached the station i felt a strange prick in my heart, a feeling which was tranquillizing me and was almost preventing me from going and i was not able to agnize it. And this pain was actually suffocating me even more as the time was passing by. Then finally i bade goodbye to my friends and then the train slowly moved. Then i realised that, the "prick", was nothin but a feeling, deep in my heart, which was gesturing from inside me, that i was missing my friends.
At once all the my thoughts plunged me and I was in a trance. I am not going to be with them anymore. All those fun we had together will all remain as memories and then there's no chance to experience it again except for talkin abt those times and feeling sad about them. I might find new friends, but definitely i am surely goin to miss these bastards for sure. Oh my god!! Why are my eyes filled with tears. I dont wanna cry, and i am not, but its paining and i want to cry. But i didn't. Why am i missing them so much. They're not my relations, then why am i missin them so much, why??? I then realised that it was because i loved them, for it doesn't need to be in any kind of relation to be in love. I loved my friends and now i am leaving them. I never realised that they were so important to me and that they were really so close to me that i wud start missing them some day. But everytime you have things waiting to pounce on u at once. I immediately msged them wat i felt and as a fact they too were in same situations. We were such a bastards in the college, that probably everyone who knew us, in the college would never think that we too wud have feelins. We were considered psychos by almost everyone. Finally, we psychos too have feelings and we were experiencing them. With that trance i went to Bangalore and slowly got myself out of it.
Once i was in Bangalore, it was a full week of shopping for me and my ATM(My bro) was ready to sponsor it. I bought almost everything i've wanted. And my ATM never defied me. During this week, i've had many kinds of experiences and almost all my experiences carry different kind of thoughts with them. It was on one of those days, i saw these people. They were about four or five of them, all dressed in attires resembling the cartoon stars like Tweety, Bugs Bunny, Donald Duck and others. They stand infront of these big multi-branded stores to entertain people and mostly children. I never knew how these people looked in real, but they were covered totally in those clothes that they were really lukin cute and had a permanant smiling face. I wondered if they were really that happy, they wud never have had to do this job. Problems, Pain, Money.... All these alre so closely related and all these could make you do anything. But then, you can never run away from them. And you have this thing called pain, that exists everywhere in some or the other form and it hits like deep shit. Thinking about them i let go that night. There were many of these kind of experiences which made me feel i was actually growning and understanding pain even more. But, dear, the more you understand pain, it'll get closer to you and finally award you with its own degree and settle with you forever. So be careful.
And finally I had to go to get my ass ripped and so we started to Mysore. The world's best training centre, i would say, with world class facilities and which a normal person would never even be able to dream or think of owning it. And i was a bit proud that i was atleast living there for a good amount of time and i am a part of it.
My Mom and Bro were so happy that i was one among the organization abt which most of the Indian graduates crave to be part of and my brother was more proud of me than happy that i was someone and not something. I dunno if it was really worth to be that happy, but it was a great comfort to me that my ppl are happy cuz of me which they scarcely are. Then I finally joined the campus carrying all the pain of missing my people i.e. my friends, mom, bro and i really dont want to express in words how much i missed them all.
Confession
Its been a long time that i've updated my blog and i really feel sorry for tht because i was very busy for my new job and a new world. There's a lot that i have to say and i didn't find time for all that. Will try to update the blog soon....................... Sorrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...............
Wednesday, 30 May 2007
Powered by Intellect, Driven by Values
September 1st 2006. A day I could never forget in my life. Even after these 9 months, I still remember almost every small go of that day. It is the day, which made me feel the caliber in me. It may not be a great achievement for many people and if really considered, may be it isn’t any. But even then, I feel it an accomplishment because I know the pain behind failure. It is only the savor of defeat that makes you realize the ecstasy in your achievement. If a man is successful, then he is not recognized for long. But a failure is always reminded of his debacle all the time. That is how the society is. But once he succeeds, all those ill things spoken about him disappear at once. He becomes a hero. And slowly as the time passes, even he, is ignored. I always felt that failure makes a remarkable presence than success. That is the reason why I am proud of myself. Yes I am. Not because I achieved something, but it is because I understand the throe in failure. If success had come my way without any failure, may be I would have never realized that twinge.
Now you might be wondering, what is all this bullshit about… Hmm.. Actually it is the day I got placed in Infosys. When I was asked to write about my dream company in my campus placement form, with out any hesitation I wrote “Infosys Technologies Limited”. And then the campus placements started. The first one was Cognizant Tech Ltd, and I failed to pass thru the interview and same was the case with Wipro and Satyam. Almost all my close friends got placed in those companies and I was left alone. This inferior feeling actually used to kill me but somehow I used to manage to keep my regular happy face all the time. And I thought, Infosys was the only option left for me. And the final day of battle came. There was a pre-placement talk as usual and it was kinda interesting for the first few minutes and later it got boring and I was trying to kill time by clicking pics of people who were already sleeping. And later there was a test, and suddenly we realized that the paper was not how the general pattern used to be, consisting of puzzles, but it was full of objective questions relating to quantitative analysis n other stuff. But thanks to my CAT coaching classes, I was able to attempt the paper. Even though I solved few of those questions, I had no idea of getting thru. And once the results were out, to my surprise, my name was the sixth one called in the list. My eyes were almost wet and I went to attend the interview, it was a stress interview which I realized later. The interviewer was an old man of about sixty years and seemed least interested in me. I began to realize that Infy was not my cup of Tea. Once the interview was over I was damn sure to fail and I even suggested my friend that we would leave. But then, she insisted that we stay till the result was out. And I was waiting there with a dumb and expressionless loser face cursing my F’ed fate. And finally, it was time, they began announcing the names and I without any excitement was standing at the back. And then someone called out, DIVYA DEEP L., and I realized that the “Someone” was none other than the HR of INFY. I couldn’t bliv my eyes, and I swear I really couldn’t. I went to the announcer and checked my name in the list twice and was later convinced. There were no bounds for my happiness. All the pain vanished in a whiff. There are many other moments that I can be reminded of, but don wanna make this even more boring.
Now the reason why I’ve been blabbering all that was cuz I am now going to enter a new life and don wanna forget those moments. My first achievement.
Adios Engineering. Yo Infy!!!! Here I come…
Now you might be wondering, what is all this bullshit about… Hmm.. Actually it is the day I got placed in Infosys. When I was asked to write about my dream company in my campus placement form, with out any hesitation I wrote “Infosys Technologies Limited”. And then the campus placements started. The first one was Cognizant Tech Ltd, and I failed to pass thru the interview and same was the case with Wipro and Satyam. Almost all my close friends got placed in those companies and I was left alone. This inferior feeling actually used to kill me but somehow I used to manage to keep my regular happy face all the time. And I thought, Infosys was the only option left for me. And the final day of battle came. There was a pre-placement talk as usual and it was kinda interesting for the first few minutes and later it got boring and I was trying to kill time by clicking pics of people who were already sleeping. And later there was a test, and suddenly we realized that the paper was not how the general pattern used to be, consisting of puzzles, but it was full of objective questions relating to quantitative analysis n other stuff. But thanks to my CAT coaching classes, I was able to attempt the paper. Even though I solved few of those questions, I had no idea of getting thru. And once the results were out, to my surprise, my name was the sixth one called in the list. My eyes were almost wet and I went to attend the interview, it was a stress interview which I realized later. The interviewer was an old man of about sixty years and seemed least interested in me. I began to realize that Infy was not my cup of Tea. Once the interview was over I was damn sure to fail and I even suggested my friend that we would leave. But then, she insisted that we stay till the result was out. And I was waiting there with a dumb and expressionless loser face cursing my F’ed fate. And finally, it was time, they began announcing the names and I without any excitement was standing at the back. And then someone called out, DIVYA DEEP L., and I realized that the “Someone” was none other than the HR of INFY. I couldn’t bliv my eyes, and I swear I really couldn’t. I went to the announcer and checked my name in the list twice and was later convinced. There were no bounds for my happiness. All the pain vanished in a whiff. There are many other moments that I can be reminded of, but don wanna make this even more boring.
Now the reason why I’ve been blabbering all that was cuz I am now going to enter a new life and don wanna forget those moments. My first achievement.
Adios Engineering. Yo Infy!!!! Here I come…
Monday, 14 May 2007
Note:
People readin these posts. Please note that i pen down watever i feel at the very moment i am writing. So there may be times my posts may contradict my previous posts. But, What to do! That is what i am!! A chameleon!!..;-)
Wudn't be surprised if ppl wud consider me a lunatic too.. Cuz... A lunatic is a lunatic!!!!!!!!!
Wudn't be surprised if ppl wud consider me a lunatic too.. Cuz... A lunatic is a lunatic!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, 13 May 2007
Philosophy of Life
There are times when we feel lonely, even though we have many people around us. Many a time, in the night, when I sit on the top of my house, all alone, gazing at the sky, I feel there’s nothing in the world that belongs to me. Nothin. Not even myself. Nothing in the world belongs to us. Its jus for the sake of the outer world we live. Are we living our lives, the way we want to be? Are we satisfied with our regular life? Was there any day, that we were satisfied totally with our living, without any regrets, without any compromises, without being unhappy? Then what in the world are we proud of?
There are lot many questions pondering my mind, why is this life like this? Few people say, it jus depends on the way we accept life and few say we must not think life in such way and should be optimistic. But, does concealing the truth, lets the facts drown? Does being optimistic mean drifting the truth and run towards the outward success of life? Doesn’t your inner self keep reminding you about the things that you lost in life? The moments you couldn’t spend with your best friend, cuz of some work at the office, the first b’day party of your kid you cudn’t attend, the thoughts you couldn’t share with your spouse cuz of hectic work. Could these losses be recuperated? Few of them jus come once in a life time, but we fail to be a part of them. Do we call it success? Does it mean we’re winning? What are we winning against?
Whenever I see, a dog fondling its pup, all day long, the immense pleasure involved in being with the baby, could never match to anything in the world. The freedom they’ve got, the love they share. Many a time, I wish I were a dog. Man is said to be the wisest ever living creature. But is this wisdom what we call? Does this sapience make any sense? All the time, we’re involved in gainin the so called “Success”, which actually is nothing but an Illusion, a dire fascination. After gaining all this success, what are we going to do? Pack it n carry it while we’re being cremated.
Even after all these thoughts I have in my mind, I still realize that even I am a part of this world and I should live according to its norms. The world where there is no truth at all. And everyone of us are a part of it and even though we don’t want to be the way we are, we ought to live it the way we are and that is the philosophy of life and we have no other choice except for living the way we are. If we try to be different, we’re considered as lunatics and imbecile. But deep in our hearts, we’re actually jealous of the person who is living his life the way he wants to. But, as a “HUMAN BEING”, we cannot accept other’s success, the real success. But a happy man, wud never care of other’s perception towards his life. But, we rarely find such people, almost seldom. Atleast, I am not as fortunate as them.
There are lot many questions pondering my mind, why is this life like this? Few people say, it jus depends on the way we accept life and few say we must not think life in such way and should be optimistic. But, does concealing the truth, lets the facts drown? Does being optimistic mean drifting the truth and run towards the outward success of life? Doesn’t your inner self keep reminding you about the things that you lost in life? The moments you couldn’t spend with your best friend, cuz of some work at the office, the first b’day party of your kid you cudn’t attend, the thoughts you couldn’t share with your spouse cuz of hectic work. Could these losses be recuperated? Few of them jus come once in a life time, but we fail to be a part of them. Do we call it success? Does it mean we’re winning? What are we winning against?
Whenever I see, a dog fondling its pup, all day long, the immense pleasure involved in being with the baby, could never match to anything in the world. The freedom they’ve got, the love they share. Many a time, I wish I were a dog. Man is said to be the wisest ever living creature. But is this wisdom what we call? Does this sapience make any sense? All the time, we’re involved in gainin the so called “Success”, which actually is nothing but an Illusion, a dire fascination. After gaining all this success, what are we going to do? Pack it n carry it while we’re being cremated.
Even after all these thoughts I have in my mind, I still realize that even I am a part of this world and I should live according to its norms. The world where there is no truth at all. And everyone of us are a part of it and even though we don’t want to be the way we are, we ought to live it the way we are and that is the philosophy of life and we have no other choice except for living the way we are. If we try to be different, we’re considered as lunatics and imbecile. But deep in our hearts, we’re actually jealous of the person who is living his life the way he wants to. But, as a “HUMAN BEING”, we cannot accept other’s success, the real success. But a happy man, wud never care of other’s perception towards his life. But, we rarely find such people, almost seldom. Atleast, I am not as fortunate as them.
Sunday, 6 May 2007
Orkut Display Names and Pics
Disclaimer: This Post may be offending for most of the readers as it may contain some facts related to them. And any resemblance to any person or to his/her is mere coincidence. Its jus to describe and make the readers understand about the matter has the author used few infracting Sh*t or wateva. Now the disclaimer nonsense is over n u could read the post.. Here it goes..
When I surf the communities in Orkut, I come across many profiles with strange Display names and even more strange names for the pics in their albums. I mean it’s so strange people write about themselves, vaunting their so called ingenuity. I noticed a guy writing “Born to Rule”, now the guy’s actually a +2 student and seems that he even failed in a subject or two. Now I never understood what in the world made him feel he would be ruling. And an other guy writes “If looks could kill, then get ready to die”. I was curious of how handsome the guy wud be. Damn!! Jesus Christ!!! Watever he wrote was true. His looks were so KILLING, that I almost got killed. F*^k Shit. I never thought he meant it in true sense. Dunno how many other people he killed, with his KILLING LOOKS.
There’s an other guy who writes “MADDY ALWAYS STAY WITH COOL”. Now the mordancy here is.. Firstly, I was never able to understand his English. Ok let’s not ridicule over his language cuz everyone cant speak or write good English and cud make mistakes. I later tried to scrutinize wat he wanted to convey. But in the process, i was tryin to interpret what he meant to say by “always stay with cool”, is it that it's summer and he wud want to stay cool resting or being Cool, with the “Yoh Man!!” effect. And his name or pet name, wateva, its Maddy. Never understood if it meant that he’s mad or a foolish ass. And there are people who put, names such as PRINCE, PRINCESS, AMAZON, bullshit and so on… Now I’ve always been wondering which state is still allowing them to rule and these Amazon women, few of then are so lean, damn you can blow them off with no second go. Hope these people realize the crap they’ve been writing and the fun that they’re makin outta themselves.
Now, about the Pics and their captions. Once I came across a profile, The display image was stating “IF BEING SEXY IS A CRIME, ARREST ME”!!! WTF!!! For a moment I was wondering if the person is Brad Pitt or Mel Gibson in disguise. I was kinda inquisitive and went thru his album expecting a hansome hunk. Now wat I find is a guy, looking as lean as a Marasmus kid, he’s got long hair and was lookin a vamp with his googs. Damn! if he considered himself sexy wat wud Hritik and Brosnan think of themselves. They wud bang their head against the wall and blow themselves with a gun. “Brosnan! Please, Please don’t sign in to orkut. Hope u wudn’t want repent.”. There are many quoted pics saying “This person’s pic is too sext to be displayed”, “Girls! Please don’t look at my album”, “Album Updated”. I dunno wat ppl want to convey with their weird display names.
After noticing many profiles like these, I too feel like putting a caption, “God! Please Why did u give me Commonsense!”(Now that was a joke though). But I think I must actually appreciate these people for their astounding attitude. Hats Off People!!
When I surf the communities in Orkut, I come across many profiles with strange Display names and even more strange names for the pics in their albums. I mean it’s so strange people write about themselves, vaunting their so called ingenuity. I noticed a guy writing “Born to Rule”, now the guy’s actually a +2 student and seems that he even failed in a subject or two. Now I never understood what in the world made him feel he would be ruling. And an other guy writes “If looks could kill, then get ready to die”. I was curious of how handsome the guy wud be. Damn!! Jesus Christ!!! Watever he wrote was true. His looks were so KILLING, that I almost got killed. F*^k Shit. I never thought he meant it in true sense. Dunno how many other people he killed, with his KILLING LOOKS.
There’s an other guy who writes “MADDY ALWAYS STAY WITH COOL”. Now the mordancy here is.. Firstly, I was never able to understand his English. Ok let’s not ridicule over his language cuz everyone cant speak or write good English and cud make mistakes. I later tried to scrutinize wat he wanted to convey. But in the process, i was tryin to interpret what he meant to say by “always stay with cool”, is it that it's summer and he wud want to stay cool resting or being Cool, with the “Yoh Man!!” effect. And his name or pet name, wateva, its Maddy. Never understood if it meant that he’s mad or a foolish ass. And there are people who put, names such as PRINCE, PRINCESS, AMAZON, bullshit and so on… Now I’ve always been wondering which state is still allowing them to rule and these Amazon women, few of then are so lean, damn you can blow them off with no second go. Hope these people realize the crap they’ve been writing and the fun that they’re makin outta themselves.
Now, about the Pics and their captions. Once I came across a profile, The display image was stating “IF BEING SEXY IS A CRIME, ARREST ME”!!! WTF!!! For a moment I was wondering if the person is Brad Pitt or Mel Gibson in disguise. I was kinda inquisitive and went thru his album expecting a hansome hunk. Now wat I find is a guy, looking as lean as a Marasmus kid, he’s got long hair and was lookin a vamp with his googs. Damn! if he considered himself sexy wat wud Hritik and Brosnan think of themselves. They wud bang their head against the wall and blow themselves with a gun. “Brosnan! Please, Please don’t sign in to orkut. Hope u wudn’t want repent.”. There are many quoted pics saying “This person’s pic is too sext to be displayed”, “Girls! Please don’t look at my album”, “Album Updated”. I dunno wat ppl want to convey with their weird display names.
After noticing many profiles like these, I too feel like putting a caption, “God! Please Why did u give me Commonsense!”(Now that was a joke though). But I think I must actually appreciate these people for their astounding attitude. Hats Off People!!
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
Indian Weddings
Weddings. The very thought of this word gives me a sick feeling. No!! It’s not that I hate weddings. But the hype that people give and the fuss that they make really irritates me. I think I hardly attended four or five weddings since my childhood. Don’t know why I never liked them as they never gave me a good notion. When I was a kid, I used to love goin to these weddings. May be its cuz I get to meet many people and the sight of people always intrigued me. But then, later I slowly learnt that it was no fun, meeting those old jerks who used to squeeze my cheeks for their vicious pleasure. Many a time I used to feel like hitting them on their testicles to pop their fu*kin balls out. Damn, wat do they think, am I a Merry-Andrew. Now if that is the case with me, imagine what the bride n the groom would be facing?
The saga of the Indian wedding goes on. Now, there’s guy called Groom sitting on the stagecoach arriving towards the Bride’s house as the soldier returning from the war. The guy seems to be more tired than excited by the time he arrives. Hmmm.. I think I shud describe it as a mixed feeling of tiredness as well as excitement. The people beside him, behave as if he’s a Private returning from the war with medal of honor. I’ve always wondered if the guy ever realized what’s all the ruckus goin on. Hmmm… He wud jus be thinking of the so called wonderful moment(s) that he’s going to have after the show.
Now once the couple is brought to the congregation hall, the irony of the whole episode begins. The pundit recites the endless chants of the mantras which are neither understood by the couple nor by the audience. Now by the time half of the ritual is over, most of the people either sleep or do their own work. The ladies keep commenting about the sarees and their colors and the men keep gossiping about politics or some worthless shit. The couple are the scapegoats here and all the people enjoy the sadistic pleasure of dumping two other lives, for which they give it a sacred name called Wedding.
After all this bullshit drama, people fiendishly wish the couple “A Happy Married Life” thinking that there goes another rabbit into the den. This is what they call, A Wedding.
The saga of the Indian wedding goes on. Now, there’s guy called Groom sitting on the stagecoach arriving towards the Bride’s house as the soldier returning from the war. The guy seems to be more tired than excited by the time he arrives. Hmmm.. I think I shud describe it as a mixed feeling of tiredness as well as excitement. The people beside him, behave as if he’s a Private returning from the war with medal of honor. I’ve always wondered if the guy ever realized what’s all the ruckus goin on. Hmmm… He wud jus be thinking of the so called wonderful moment(s) that he’s going to have after the show.
Now once the couple is brought to the congregation hall, the irony of the whole episode begins. The pundit recites the endless chants of the mantras which are neither understood by the couple nor by the audience. Now by the time half of the ritual is over, most of the people either sleep or do their own work. The ladies keep commenting about the sarees and their colors and the men keep gossiping about politics or some worthless shit. The couple are the scapegoats here and all the people enjoy the sadistic pleasure of dumping two other lives, for which they give it a sacred name called Wedding.
After all this bullshit drama, people fiendishly wish the couple “A Happy Married Life” thinking that there goes another rabbit into the den. This is what they call, A Wedding.
Pastor's Ass
Recently, I’ve come across this mail and thought it is worth sharing here. It is jus a forward mail but the humor as well as the moral of the story allured me and made me post it here.
Here goes the story:
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
Here goes the story:
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is...being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life...
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
This story really made me think, as it is not only a bit humorous but actually thought-provoking. Life is much happier when we don’t get involved into other’s business without their endorsement. There may be things which would need our concern. But we must limit ourselves to the locus of the concern and should not try to get more inquisitive.
Tuesday, 1 May 2007
What is Love!!
LOVE!!!! This is the one most dangerous word that can cause Ecstasy as well as Havoc and occasionally both at a time. It’s the one word that can bamboozle anyone in this world. For a long time people have been using this word for many purposes. Lust, Passion, Emotion, Boodle, Bullshit!!! And the list goes on… Damn!!! What the heck is Love?? Many people say it’s an emotion, some say, it’s a feeling and other says it’s the trust. Is it really true?? Does Love exist? Do people really Love each other?? May be. They are true. Let’s jus trust them for a moment. If they really are in love, why do they split? And why do they abuse and curse each other once they are separated? Is it what they call Love? Does Love mean to shower all that you could when you are with each other and inflict the latter’s life once the relation crumples? WTF?? What about all the promises they made, to stay with each other for the rest of the life, and stand by each other, no matter what. The “Love” that they had for each other!! The feelings, the emotions, the memories, the sweetest times, all the things that they shared, where do they all vanish? The gifts and letters that were exchanged, for which they were even ready to give their life!! Do they run into scum? Do they all evanesce at once. And without any adversity people start screwing each other and then the series of profanations go on. No regrets. All the Love is gone. Vengeance. The only thought that comes into mind. And for some others, its jus a part of life. They get into an other relation and then there’s an other “Love of my Life”. And thus the cycle goes on.
Don’t people ever realise the mistake they commit? Don’t they understand what they keep doing? Don’t their inner self object them?
Its jus the impact of infatuation that draws their attention onto the other person. A small remarkable resemblance to their dream boy/girl that they feel. That’s all. They keep fantasizing that the other person is made for them. And then.they utter to themselves. “OMG!!! This is the Guy! Yes! Its Him!! Yes Him that I’ve been waiting all my life. And yeah.. I finally met him!!” Real damn Bullshit!! And within a moment they fall in “Love”. This is what is Love. F**K!! And then the never ending drama and their sequels go on and on. But don’t they ever feel like thinking for a moment. Jus for a single moment!! What the hell am I doin? Where am I running myself into?
Its jus for few moments of pleasure and a crave for emotional support, that people run into this hogwash. Yes!! Love means sefishness. Its jus that you want your desires to be fulfilled and hence you are in Love. The need may be anything. As I’ve mentioned.. Lust, Emotional support or wateva.. Everything’s plastic. Noting exists in real. Yeah Nothing.
I’ve been speaking all this. But am I flawless?? F**k No!! Even I run myself into this deep Shit. Even though never wanted to. And yeah!! I did blame her. For all that shez done to me. I hate her. Yes I do. But, deep in my heart. I feel. Yes!! I feel all this. All that I spoke. But then, Even I am a normal human being. And I do realize the meaning of “To Err is Human...”.
Don’t people ever realise the mistake they commit? Don’t they understand what they keep doing? Don’t their inner self object them?
Its jus the impact of infatuation that draws their attention onto the other person. A small remarkable resemblance to their dream boy/girl that they feel. That’s all. They keep fantasizing that the other person is made for them. And then.they utter to themselves. “OMG!!! This is the Guy! Yes! Its Him!! Yes Him that I’ve been waiting all my life. And yeah.. I finally met him!!” Real damn Bullshit!! And within a moment they fall in “Love”. This is what is Love. F**K!! And then the never ending drama and their sequels go on and on. But don’t they ever feel like thinking for a moment. Jus for a single moment!! What the hell am I doin? Where am I running myself into?
Its jus for few moments of pleasure and a crave for emotional support, that people run into this hogwash. Yes!! Love means sefishness. Its jus that you want your desires to be fulfilled and hence you are in Love. The need may be anything. As I’ve mentioned.. Lust, Emotional support or wateva.. Everything’s plastic. Noting exists in real. Yeah Nothing.
I’ve been speaking all this. But am I flawless?? F**k No!! Even I run myself into this deep Shit. Even though never wanted to. And yeah!! I did blame her. For all that shez done to me. I hate her. Yes I do. But, deep in my heart. I feel. Yes!! I feel all this. All that I spoke. But then, Even I am a normal human being. And I do realize the meaning of “To Err is Human...”.
The way i lived my Life
Hi Everyone.. This is my first blog and took a long time to write this. Since i came to know about this blogging stuff about two years back, i've always wanted to blog. But the problem was, i've been so very lazy that never actually took pain to do so. Now that is me. Hmm.. Now i'm actually writing this blog cuz i wanted to make an attempt to figure myself out and what i did for the past 22years.
In my childhood, i was an active kid and used to love playing and hanging out with friends, most of them who were very much elder to me. As i was a child, my conversations n blabbering used to interest them a lot. May be they enjoyed my foolishness or may be they found my words cute or the innocence of the speech attracted them, which i never cared,. But i always used to keep my pace of hopeless as well as endless conversations going on and on, and i loved it cuz ppl loved me for that. Never loved to stay home. And yeah, Peace was once thing i hated then. Err... sounds absurd though.. But dunno why, i used to love wars and battles. May be it was cuz of the reason that my dad was in the Forces then or may be cuz i used to watch the Television Series of Tipu Sultan and The Mahabharat. Wateva.. I loved the series of Tipu Sultan a lot, wen i was of 5 years or so.. All the time, I used to utter the sounds of the swords colliding with each other, "Ting Ting Buck.. ". Even now when my mom reminds me of those three words i used a lot and keeps teasing me.
Once we shifted from Kakinada to Hyderabad, i think it was 1993, my style of life changed to a different one. I realised that i had friends of my age too. Though it was kinda tough to adopt to such changes i was actually trying to. But then, somehow, (err.. i don remember how, ) i found friends who were elder to me. Felt lucky. One of those was Mario, he was a guitarist and used to run a dance school too. It was for the first time in my life that i heard of the name Micheal Jackson and his albums Bad and Dangerous. Learnt a few steps from him, which i barely remember now. It was really fun spending time with those big men as, it used to give me a feeling of security and supremacy over the children of my age. We jus lived for an year at that place.
Later we shifted to a place called Neredmet(we previously used to stay at Vanasthalipuram, forgot to mention that earlier)and here i met a wonderful family. As the tradition of me having elder friends continues, i met these people, Chaitanya and Navajivan. They were in their +2(intermediate) and i was in 4th class. Our family got close to them and we were neighbours. Their parents were both kind of scholars and even the children followed their footsteps. Though books were never of my genre, i loved knowledge and they helped me in gaining it sufficiently. They made me realise what i was and what i am. Most unforgettable people in my life. They always saw me as an intelligent chap and i loved it, who wouldn't love to be called smart(forget abt the truth.. lol..).
And then as time passed by, we kept shifting places n i kept changing my friends. And after a few relocations, we finally settled at a place called A.S.Rao Nagar and here we lived for six years and i love the moments i spent here. This is the place where i spent my matured childhood and has the most memorable moments of my life. It makes me feel i've lived life, and actually learnt the meaning of living life. I was never a sober and hated being called so, I was always naughty and a frolic. I had a gud bunch of friends here and all were of my age. But surprisingly got habituated with these people and was happy being with them and loved their company. In them was, Atish, my best friend, even now.
As my school days began to end and i had to chose my career path, i was in a dillema. I never understood wat i wanted to be. Movies influenced me a lot(tht's one of the reasons why i keep away from movies) and then i wanted to be an archeologist. But my brother somehow brushed my dreams away and wanted me to take Math. I loved math and so i didn't have much regrets in choosin it. And then i joined my engineering. Four years went by, even now many a time, i cant bliv my eyes that i am about to complete my engineering. Damn i wud be an engineer, i never realised. I got placed with Infosys and wud be working for it in a month or two. But i still feel childish many a time.
After all these years.. I've realised that i've become peace loving, lazy, kinda matured(not always though). I've changed a lot.. Had happy as well as sad moments. But always realised that i was growin and i always feel that i am being matured day by day and was foolish in the past..LOL.. Now i'm jus waiting for a day where i wud feel "Yeah!! For the past one year i wasn't childish or immatured at any point of time".
In my childhood, i was an active kid and used to love playing and hanging out with friends, most of them who were very much elder to me. As i was a child, my conversations n blabbering used to interest them a lot. May be they enjoyed my foolishness or may be they found my words cute or the innocence of the speech attracted them, which i never cared,. But i always used to keep my pace of hopeless as well as endless conversations going on and on, and i loved it cuz ppl loved me for that. Never loved to stay home. And yeah, Peace was once thing i hated then. Err... sounds absurd though.. But dunno why, i used to love wars and battles. May be it was cuz of the reason that my dad was in the Forces then or may be cuz i used to watch the Television Series of Tipu Sultan and The Mahabharat. Wateva.. I loved the series of Tipu Sultan a lot, wen i was of 5 years or so.. All the time, I used to utter the sounds of the swords colliding with each other, "Ting Ting Buck.. ". Even now when my mom reminds me of those three words i used a lot and keeps teasing me.
Once we shifted from Kakinada to Hyderabad, i think it was 1993, my style of life changed to a different one. I realised that i had friends of my age too. Though it was kinda tough to adopt to such changes i was actually trying to. But then, somehow, (err.. i don remember how, ) i found friends who were elder to me. Felt lucky. One of those was Mario, he was a guitarist and used to run a dance school too. It was for the first time in my life that i heard of the name Micheal Jackson and his albums Bad and Dangerous. Learnt a few steps from him, which i barely remember now. It was really fun spending time with those big men as, it used to give me a feeling of security and supremacy over the children of my age. We jus lived for an year at that place.
Later we shifted to a place called Neredmet(we previously used to stay at Vanasthalipuram, forgot to mention that earlier)and here i met a wonderful family. As the tradition of me having elder friends continues, i met these people, Chaitanya and Navajivan. They were in their +2(intermediate) and i was in 4th class. Our family got close to them and we were neighbours. Their parents were both kind of scholars and even the children followed their footsteps. Though books were never of my genre, i loved knowledge and they helped me in gaining it sufficiently. They made me realise what i was and what i am. Most unforgettable people in my life. They always saw me as an intelligent chap and i loved it, who wouldn't love to be called smart(forget abt the truth.. lol..).
And then as time passed by, we kept shifting places n i kept changing my friends. And after a few relocations, we finally settled at a place called A.S.Rao Nagar and here we lived for six years and i love the moments i spent here. This is the place where i spent my matured childhood and has the most memorable moments of my life. It makes me feel i've lived life, and actually learnt the meaning of living life. I was never a sober and hated being called so, I was always naughty and a frolic. I had a gud bunch of friends here and all were of my age. But surprisingly got habituated with these people and was happy being with them and loved their company. In them was, Atish, my best friend, even now.
As my school days began to end and i had to chose my career path, i was in a dillema. I never understood wat i wanted to be. Movies influenced me a lot(tht's one of the reasons why i keep away from movies) and then i wanted to be an archeologist. But my brother somehow brushed my dreams away and wanted me to take Math. I loved math and so i didn't have much regrets in choosin it. And then i joined my engineering. Four years went by, even now many a time, i cant bliv my eyes that i am about to complete my engineering. Damn i wud be an engineer, i never realised. I got placed with Infosys and wud be working for it in a month or two. But i still feel childish many a time.
After all these years.. I've realised that i've become peace loving, lazy, kinda matured(not always though). I've changed a lot.. Had happy as well as sad moments. But always realised that i was growin and i always feel that i am being matured day by day and was foolish in the past..LOL.. Now i'm jus waiting for a day where i wud feel "Yeah!! For the past one year i wasn't childish or immatured at any point of time".
Monday, 30 April 2007
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